Hello again, I had forgotten about you.

~ Maybe I will be better about writing daily from now on?

It has been a while, and part of me has been considering writing here again (not that it mattered in the first place?). Nothing new as happened, except for the fact that many boys like me and I am not interested in having a relationship with them at all. I have probably lost some friends and weakened some relationships. Right now, the thing that matters to me the most is finding a job, so I feel like I matter.

I did a half-day paid workshop two days ago.
I have an interview next week, finally.
I have a workshop with my seasonal job.

I still need to return Crazy Cock.

I haven't been here in almost 4 months.

I still haven't returned Crazy Cock to the library. I got a call one day after its Return by-date and that was that. I suppose people don't really miss that novel.

I have a sort of sick feeling growing inside me. It's caused by a mixture of things. I just hope I can keep... hope.

I got a Christmas package today. Being a jokey-person, I usually gently shake my gifts to figure out what's inside. I shook my package today, and let out an unexpected gasp of excitement. I probably haven't gasped about a gift since childhood.

Today I began to doubt the way I have been going about this whole "Love" concept.

Today I deactivated my Facebook account.

Today I drove to Victorville (after realizing a friend has been living there for the past year) because my doubts and hormones began to make me feel crappy.

I became emotional on the 18. It was so dark. No one to hear my loud music. No one to hear the rumbling wind. It was haunting and beautiful. Then, lonely.



Something. I hope you still love me too. . . nonononono. *(. . )

+ Hired as a tutor again.
- Too busy to say anything.
+ Ate crabs today and have learned how to eat them myself.
+ Keroppi watch... but the Sanrio watch-supply seems sparse. I hope not.
+ Getting packages feels like Christmas (even though I purchased the contents myself).

1oo

This is my 100th Post. I figured I would do something special like do a survey to reveal more about myself, or something.

ABC About You Questions

A - AVAILABLE: For a Limited Time Only!!! Free Shipping! But really, I am available, but that doesn't mean I'm looking.

B - BIRTHDAY: 1o.24

C - CRUSHING ON: Man, I crush on a LOT of things, a person, and a handful of celebrities.

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: H2o

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Most of my close friends are.

F - FAVORITE SONG: Too many. I think 1 of them would have to be... Pump It Up by i:gorrr

G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Bears.

H - HOMETOWN: I can't tell you where my secret hideout is. The jig will be up, then!

I - IN LOVE WITH: Life. Books. Paris. Food. Photography. Typewriters. Ink. Bedsheets. Sam.

J - JUGGLE: I can for a few seconds. Beanbags only.

K - KILLED SOMEONE: Not in real life.

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE?: to San Francisco, Manila to crap, I'm having a brain-fart right now. I'll add the answer in later.

M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Vanilla, usually. Chocolate when I want to be fat. Strawberry when I want something extra sweet.

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: N/A

O - ONE WISH: To do what I want in life without my parents' disapproval.

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: My boss.

R - REASON TO SMILE: Cute food, good jokes, dirty jokes, after helping someone, clouds, a full moon, rain... I'd be here all night...

S - SONG YOU LAST SANG: I can't remember...

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 7:30 or so.

U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: A majority of it is white.

V - VEGETABLE(S): I eat them... ? I don't really like celery and brussel sprouts taste a little off.

W - WORST HABIT: Being lazy, getting lost in dreams, getting lost on the Internet.

X - X-RAYS YOU’VE HAD: Teeth, chest... and that's it.

Y - YOYOS ARE: hard to play with. ):

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio

RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU
Spell your name without vowels: tmn j vldvs gb

Your favorite number: 9 or 29. 29, the most.

What color do you wear most?: I'm not really sure. I'm hoping to transition to a grey/black for a more professional-vibe.

Least favorite colors?: Pastel versions of all the colors and baby pink.

What are you listening to?: The wind blowing about quite violently, rattling my screen.

Are you happy with your life right now?: It could be worse, but I know it could be better, so... happy enough.

What is your favorite class in school?: I'm finished with that, but I guess I'm still taking a band class, so I like that!

Who is your best friend: I have many, and to name them isn't important.

When do you start back at school/college?: Never. I am finished.

Are you outgoing?: It depends on the situation, but mostly no.

Favorite pair of shoes?: My "adventure shoes" from Paris.

Can you dance?: Not as well as others, but I'm occasionally alright with making a fool out of myself.

Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: I've never tried because I'm afraid I won't be able to do it. I have issues with being wrong, or not being able to do something correctly the first time. I have, however, been told I'm a good kisser.

Can you whistle?: Yes.

Cross your eyes?: Yes.

Walk with your toes curled?: Yes. Why I would ever need to, I don't know.

THE DO’S
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: I expect so.

Do you believe in miracles?: Sure.

Do you believe in magic?: In a young girl's heart? Of course I believe in magic. What comes out when my unicorn farts?

Love at first sight?: In a way.

Do you believe in Satan?: Last I checked, he was in love with Sadaam Hussein.

Do you believe in Santa?: For all those around the age of 10, yes.

Do you know how to swim?: Not exactly.

Do you like roller coasters?: They're alright.

Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: I wouldn't eat a giant spider.

Have you ever been on a plane?: Y

Have you ever asked someone out?: N

Have you ever been asked out by someone?: Y

Have you ever been to the ocean?: Y

THE WHATS

What is the temperature outside?: IDK.

What radio station do you listen to?: Several.

What was the last restaurant you ate at?: Someplace in the Holiday Inn.

What was the last thing you bought?: A Hello Kitty bracelet.

What was the last thing on TV you watched: The Walking Dead & I Survived...

Who was the last person you took a picture of?: Pieces of myself and probably someone in Paris.

Who did you last webcam with?: Sam.

Who was the last person you said I love you to?: Sam.

CRYING SECTION

Ever really cried your heart out?: Y

Ever cried yourself to sleep?: I don't think I have, but that just can't be right.

Ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?: Y

Ever cried over the opposite sex?: Y

Do you cry when you get an injury?: I don't get injured often, and if I do get inured it's never enough to make me cry.

Do certain songs make you cry?: Y

HAPPY SECTION

Are you a happy person?: I used to be an even happier person.

CURRENTLY WEARING

I love how the "Happy Section" was one question long.

What is your current hair color?: Black. It has never changed, and for that, I'm sort of annoyed.

What shirt are you wearing?: None; a white tank-top.

Pants?: Pyjama pants.

Shoes?: Kitty slippers.

Necklaces?: None.
Underwear?: Tan.

IN A BOY/GIRL

Favorite eye color: I was going to write blue, but realized 75% of the boys I've been with didn't have blue eyes.

I don't really have a preference. Eyes aren't known to make me swoon at first sight.

Short or long hair: Doesn't matter either, but having some to play with is nice.

Height: N/A; everyone is taller than me.

HAVE YOU EVER

Been to jail: N

Mooned someone: N

Laughed so hard you cried: Y

Cried in school: Y

Wanted to be a model: Y

Done something really stupid that you still laugh about: ... Maybe? I really don't remember right now.

Seen a dead body: N

Been on drugs: N

Gone skinny dipping: N. I'm disappointed. I was hoping by this age I had done it by now.

THIS OR THAT

Pepsi or Coke: Both.

Single or Group Dates: Single.

Chocolate or Vanilla: Both, but Vanilla more preferable.

Strawberries or Blueberries: Strawberries.

Meat or Veggies: Both.

TV or Movie: TV.

Guitar or Drums: Both.

Adidas or Nike: Nike.

Chinese or Mexican: Both.

Cheerios or Corn Flakes: Corn Flakes.

Name one random thing about myself: I lost my retainers in college, and worry about my teeth getting out of alignment sometimes.

If you're wondering how I'm doing:
- Headache.

Good stuff yesterday, but headache now, so ... guess I'll be later.