Day 36

How lucky am I? Another shot at attending a filming of Conan O'Brien...

and another target acquired! (: I ought to post photos of my evidence lest you decide to not believe me. My friend carries around his Late Night wristband with him for proof. I don't think I'll be doing that to mine as I like to try to keep my souvenirs in good condition.

There were many thoughts today, touching upon both ends of the spectrum (extremely bad and good -- incase you weren't quite sure).

In my life, there's nothing more depressing and frightening than waking up at 6:30am to the sound of your mother's voice screaming relentlessly to relatives on the phone in regard to money. A majority of the time, I can't understand a thing, but just hearing her scream so loudly with the tone and the very few words I catch...

It's uncomfortable. I can feel my pulse rate go faster.
I feel so childish when I get the feelings of wanting to hide, wishing I weren't able to hear everything.

I was surprised that my mind could race so quickly at such an early hour. Feelings of hate for my relatives, myself for possibly spending money on unnecessary things, why I couldn't imagine harder so I could drown out my mum, why I haven't moved out yet...

I came to the realization that what makes me the most depressed about living at home is that it reminds me of what life was like when I was in high school. Obviously those were not my most glorious days. The constant exposure to this yelling and screaming really brings me down. My mother supporting some of our close relatives pressures me to not spend any money (which is likely a good thing), but it also makes me feel like I'm responsible for my her woes. More constant yelling due to her high blood pressure also makes me feel generally terrible and hated. In addition, life is more limited than it was when I was in college -- I don't feel like myself here, and I don't feel like I can be myself.

Anyway, things flowed better afterward:

1. I woke up.
2. Worked on my Christmas card. Fucked up the stencil, but created it anyway.
3. Showered.
4. Dressed.
5. Dolled myself up in time.
6. Picked up by friends.
7. Turned some coins into cash.
8. Journeyed to Glendale.
9. 2 ounces of English Breakfast Black Tea. Visited the Japanese store and picked up a neat Domo Kun pouch (I might post here) -- very useful. Sinful Cinnamon pretzel.
10. Drove to Universal Studios/Citywalk.
11. Engaged in the usual Conan... routine. Their tickets were purple this time. Filmed an awesome show.
12. Karl Strauss for a sip of some delicious... shoot... "Imperial--" something something beer.
13. A frightening drive home.

I wonder if anyone has fed my koi lately.
I also wonder if I should list "going to Conan O'Brien shows" as a hobby.